What’s your submissive motivation? Are you a service-oriented submissive or are you an achievement-oriented submissive?

Have you ever given that question much thought? I suspect some have while others haven’t. I also suspect many truly believe they are service-oriented submissives but when you get right down to it, they are really achievement-oriented submissives and just don’t realize it.

The other day, two of my chaste subbies sent me their required morning messages around the same time and as I was reading their emails, it occurred to me that while they both are in chastity and facing similar challenges, that was as far as the similarity went.

What do I mean by that? Let me explain.

Service-oriented Submissive Motivation

Did I please you like a good submissive, Mistress?

Service-oriented submissives are what I consider “true submissives” in that they get their own pleasure by knowing that they’ve pleased their Femdom Mistress. They are always asking themselves how they can better serve.

When a service-oriented submissive accomplishes a goal or when they do something that pleases their Mistress, their focus is not on how great they were for pleasing Mistress, it is on how happy they are that they were able to please Mistress.

Do you see the difference, there? My belief is it that as a good submissive, your pleasure should come from Her pleasure. Your get excited because it makes you feel good that she has been sufficiently pleased; especially if you were the one who pleased Her- whether that be directly by worshiping her sexy body, making sure she has plenty of studs to give her sexual pleasure, providing entertainment for her via your inadequacies, or any other thing that makes her happy,

When a service-oriented submissive inquires as to whether or not they were a good little submissive for Mistress, it is framed as “I hope I did I good job pleasing you today” or “I am honored to be a chaste slave for you.”  verses the way an achievement-oriented submissive would say it, which is “I am proud of myself for being a chaste submissive for you” or I am proud that I am a good submissive because I pleased you.”

While there is nothing wrong with being excited and/or motivated by achievements and being proud of what you’ve accomplished, that should not be your entire motivation. Most people are more heavily one or the other with the opposite sprinkled in for good measure.

Achievement-oriented Submissive Motivation

What does achievement-oriented motivation, or as I like to call it, “all about me while I pretend it is all about you” motivation look like? Some would say it looks a lot like topping from the bottom. I don’t think it is at all the same thing, though.

Topping from the bottom is directing your Mistress to do or say whatever it is you want her to do or say. This is not the same thing as suggesting that Mistress may have you do this or that because you think it might please her. There is a big difference between the two.

Do I think there a big difference between topping from the bottom and achievement-oriented submissive motivation? Yes and no. Let me explain. Both are similar in that the submissive’s focus is on themselves and not on their Femdom, as it should be. Most who top from the bottom and who are achievement-oriented submissives are unaware of that they do or that they are.

They believe, as is consistent with self-centeredness and arrogance, that they are the best submissives that have ever walked the planet and have no trouble breaking their arms to pat themselves on the back every chance they get.

Is Achievement-oriented Submission Bad?

This, of course, is a subjective question, but, in my opinion, if your submissive motivation is achievement-oriented more than 30% of the time, then you are not really a true submissive. If you are a true submissive, your submissive motivation would be service-oriented closer to 70% of the time.

What I mean by this is, it is okay if you accomplished an especially difficult goal that pleased Mistress, to recognize that in reaching your goal and making her proud, you were a good, obedient, submissive. What is not okay, in my opinion, is that when every single conversation with the submissive contains phrases like “I am proud that I…”, “It shows how good I…”, “I am such a good submissive for Mistress,” etc.

Take the Submissive Motivation Quiz to Determine your Submissive Motivation Type and then listen to the audio below for your  assignment.

Click the image above to hear Ms. Hunter’s assignment

Call Ms. Hunter at (800) 601-6975
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