Finding the perfect BDsm Domme
I love answering questions about kink, fetish and BDsm. Listen to me read you this blog post about kink. Many of you have questions that only someone who plays in the BDsm scene can answer.
There is a reason why I’m called the Experienced Mistress — all of my advice is based on my Mistress experience in kink scenes and with BDsm players (experienced and inexperienced).
BDsm questions on twitter
I posted a tweet from my @MistressOlivia1 twitter account asking for questions. I got a bunch of questions, really great BDsm questions, that I’ll be answering here on my blog.
How do I find the best Domme?
That’s a great question. I want you to think of it like this — a Domme is not an object with a set value — much of what makes her the “best Domme” is whether and how she is the best Mistress FOR YOU.
Therefore, before you ask (and I answer) that question I want you to do some internal prep work. I can quickly take you though this exercise on the phone or you can start to think about this question that I’ll post here.
Are you kinky, submissive or sexually adventurous? I’ve had callers who say, “I want you to dominate me” and when I begin to ask questions about what they mean by “dominate me” it turns out that they’re looking for a sexually assertive woman not a Femdom or a Mean Mistress.
Clarity and communication with a Mistress
Remember that any BDsm relationship is first and foremost a RELATIONSHIP. Both parties need to be on the same page with any erotic play. Passive aggressive or manipulative communication has no place in the bedroom or the dungeon. This is true for both the Dominant and the submissive.
One fetish playmate says:
“I feel that, sub or not, both parties in a D/s relationship … or any relationship … need to take responsibility for their own needs and communicate them.”
NOW you’re ready to look for a kinky Mistress!
First, know yourself. Second, communicate your needs, desires, limits and more to other fetish players. This is how you find the perfect Domme or Mistress for you. If you conduct yourself this way in a kink community, I suspect SHE will even find you!
Your Experienced Mistress,
Ms Olivia
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