You may be thinking, “Aftercare for my Femdom, I am the submissive; therefore, I am the one who needs aftercare,” and if you are thinking that, shame on you!! Domme Drop or Top Drop is just as real as sub drop and as a concerned, obedient submissive, you should not only be aware of when it may occur, you should know how to provide the aftercare she needs.
Have you ever talked about Domme Drop with your Mistress? If you haven’t, I assure you, you should!
The Effects of D/s Power Exchange
Power Exchange in D/s can be intense and exhausting for both the Dominant and the submissive. The euphoria experienced by both sides- top space and sub space– during a D/s scene oftentimes is so intense, the let down after the scene has ended can be almost as intense. We hear about sub drop all the time but don’t often talk about Domme Drop. Why do you suppose that is?
Maybe subbies don’t really think about it because they are dealing with their own drop. Maybe Dommes are hesitant to discuss it with their submissives for fear of being seen as weak. Whatever the reason for not discussing it previously, there is no reason to not discuss it going forward.
D/s Scene Prep
As Femdom Mistresses, it is our job to get to know and understand our submissives; what their kinks are, their likes and dislikes, their triggers- both good and bad- so we can plan and execute each scene/session to make it the best possible experience. This takes keen observation, concentration, energy, and preparation- aside from the scene itself.
All of this can be very draining and can induce a letdown when it’s over just as it does for submissives. Exhaustion… thinking of things we wish we’d have done differently… wondering if we may have pushed the boundaries just a bit too far, disappointment that the scene for which we’ve planned, prepped and given our all is over, and any number of things on the opposing end of Domme Space- yes, Domme Space is a real thing. You can learn more about Domme Space and Domme Drop on My Intelligent Fantasies blog.
Femdom Aftercare
Now that we’ve talked about the fact that Domme Drop is a real thing and the various ways your Mistress might feel after a scene, let’s talk about how you can provide Femdom aftercare. First and foremost, you should ask her about whether she experiences Domme Drop and how you can help make the drop less intense by providing the aftercare she needs. Never assume you know what she needs. Always ask.
That said, here are just a few ways you might be able to care for her:
Communication: Aside from communication prior to any D/s scene, you should be open to discussing the scene after the fact. What you liked, what she liked, what you or she didn’t like. What you’d each like to do differently next time, etc. We phone Femdoms like to refer to this as virtual pillow talk.
Check-ins: After the session, send Mistress an email to let her know how much you appreciate her and the things you enjoy about her, her style, the way she interacts with you, etc. Ask her how you can show your support for her and all she does.
Understanding: It is important to understand that Dommes feel the weight of having to be strong and unwavering in skill, thought, and action which can be difficult to balance with simply being human. We aren’t perfect. We make mistakes. We worry and stress. We feel the need to look like we’ve always got it together, which isn’t the case.
There are always going to be good days and bad days. Be observant. Pay attention to your Mistress’s habits, patterns, etc., and when you notice something is a bit amiss, don’t be afraid to show your caring and support.
The D/s Dynamic from the Dominant Side
Much has been written in LDW-land over the years about submissives; what makes a good submissive, how a submissive should behave, why punishment is necessary to keep submissives in line, and on and on and while there are articles about what makes a good Dominant, the D/s dynamic in general, etc., there isn’t a lot written from the Dominant’s perspective; especially the potential downsides. I aim to change this by creating awareness and opening up the topic for real and honest discussion so keep checking around the Empire and join in on the discussion whenever you can!
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Until next time, pets~
Your Domination Boot Camp Mistress