CALL SCENARIOS TO EXPLORE THE IGNORE FETISH
I reviewed the ignore fetish is and its psychological benefits on intelligentphonesexcalls.com in an article entitled “Psychological Benefits of the Ignore Fetish” as well as a KINKology episode entitled “Understanding Ignore Fetishes”. Now, let’s dive into several enticing ignore fetish call scenarios for long distance domination. These scenarios can be tailored to fit your specific desires and boundaries, and by no means do they represent all the available options.
Click here to listen to the full episode of KINKology: Understanding Ignore Fetishes
PRE-SESSION PLANNING CONSIDERATIONS FOR IGNORE CALLS
Because ignore calls tend to go against what most of us have been conditioned to do- which is engage and talk on the phone- it really is a bit necessary to pre-game these types of sessions. This can be done with email, at the beginning of the session, or even could warrant a full session to discuss goals, boundaries and desires. In this pre-session, you should identify the following things to your dominant in order for them to have the information they need to hold the container for you. The following questions do not need to be answered solely by you- they could be explored with your dominant as well and uncovered together.
1. Discuss your desires & your fantasies frankly
2. Discuss your goals, as well as any subgoals, you may have for the session. Because these are rich with emotional content, there are so many psychological benefits you can receive from them.
3. Be able to discuss trauma responses or stress responses that may come up in your session.
4. Review any tools and strategies that could be used to dissipate anxiety and trauma responses, should they arise.
5. Review boundaries and safe words.
6. Plan for a processing session, either at the end of the call or even at a later date.
7. Record any observations, thoughts or impulses you may have had after the session to review with your dominant. This can assist with your submissive training as well as help you reap the psychological benefits available.
Distance Domination & Ignore Fetish Scenes
This scenario can go in a variety of directions, so I will just go ahead, and bullet point a couple of fun ones.
Gamification/Battle of the Wills
Your Mistress begins the conversation playfully but becomes distant or distracted, as if you aren’t enough to fully capture her attention, leaving you yearning for her attention. Each time you try to engage her, she shifts the topic or excuses herself to engage with another distraction (a “busy” background). The thrill lies in your struggle to regain her focus, building a delicious tension of longing and desire, a battle of wills. Bonus points for making her laugh or charming her with clever word play- this is a great time to flex any skills YOU may have to prove yourself worthy of regard.
Submission Training
Ignore calls can be a fantastic way to implement submissive training, teaching lessons such as prioritizing the wants and needs of your mistress over your wants and needs. Behavioral expectations can be set at the beginning of the call. You learn patience, service, and how to fully submit to another’s will. You can actually include meditative practices to do mindset work, to contemplate transgressions or your submission overall, to complete a task. Skills training cold be used with an impatient submissive or naughty, using reinforcement, reward and punishment to shape behavior at will. You could set up goals to achieve that could result in increasing attention, or behaviors that immediately result in punishment. Ignore calls can even be brought in as an immediate consequence- such as a slip up in language resulting in a 5 min time out. The possibilities are truly endless.
Therapeutic/Goal Focused
Now for people who may have relational issues regarding attention, being ignored, or issues around them being able to prioritize their partner over themselves- this type of session can be not only arousing but actually helpful. This would best be accomplished with some processing time to discuss what feelings were coming up during the activity, what memories they were experiencing, what sensations and impulses came up. But using the session as a way to explore sensitivity surrounding rejection or disregard can yield pretty amazing results in your life. I do recommend that if you are trying to achieve any types of specific goals or subgoals within a session, you have a frank discussion on what you are trying to do and be sure that you have a dominant partner who is on board to safely hold space for you while you do that.
Nervous System Skills Training/Window of Tolerance
Alright, to piggyback off therapeutic goals, let’s talk about expanding our Window of Tolerance. I have talked a lot about the nervous system, and those of you who may not have already heard them, I encourage you to check out The Nervous System 101, Trauma Part 1 & Trauma Part 2 to learn more about how our brains process stress and trauma. But essentially, if you struggle with a lot of emotional regulation difficulties that could potentially be triggered during an ignore call, then this is a lovely opportunity to begin to do some work to expand your window of tolerance. Your window of tolerance represents the space in which you can safely experience negative emotions without your brain re-routing your energy by shutting off your pre-frontal cortex. We expand this by steadily increasing our ability to sit within negative emotions without freaking out, basically. So, if you are trying to expand your window of tolerance using an ignore fetish session, it would look something like this: You call in for a pre-arranged ignore call session and begin the call by trying to engage your mistress, who rejects your attempts to engage her. You experience rejection, which in turn activates your survival responses, leading to distress that overwhelms your Window of Tolerance and shuts down your frontal lobes. THEN, you begin to use the skills that were discussed in your planning session to dissipate the anxiety and begin to re-enter your window of tolerance. When we do this, we are training our brain that we can safely experience rejection, the rejection is not a life-threatening event, and your brain will integrate this new information by expanding your window of tolerance regarding this trigger overall.
Punishment
An ignore session can be a lovely punishment for a subby who has failed to meet expectations, especially if you whisper all the fun, sexy things we were going to allow them to do if they hadn’t performed so abysmally. You’ve heard of the saying that any attention can be good attention, yes? That bad attention doesn’t exist? That really speaks into the danger we have for our punishments to become incentives if they are attached to attention. Sometimes instead of a punishment session involving corporeal punishment, CBT, pain play, an ignore session will be an even better punishment because it denies you what you really want- attention from your dominant, any way you can get it.
Acts of Service/Sacrifice
So, this one is also a really gratifying one from my perspective- having a submissive who wants to be in my presence but not take any attn or focus from what I am doing? Yes, please. But the concept that you will sit on the other line of the phone, unfulfilled and wanting, but making no demands, is a really hot troupe for me for some reason. But the act of paying for someone to do something considered so undesirable is such a yummy lean in- it’s kinda like when men give me money to beat their cockmeat with a rubber mallet- just innately satisfying. But giving up something you want (such as my attention) in favor of giving me what I want also scratches the itch for some of our service sluts.
Teasing/Erotic/Playful Ignore Fetish Sessions
These can also be fun sessions for a little targeted teasing, fun interactive performances where although you may not be getting direct attention- you will still be the center of attention. These can be fun sessions for me- where I get to employ a little creativity in engaging you, capturing you, and teasing you all under the guise of disregard. This type of session works splendidly with multiple mistresses, who can chatter amongst themselves while you listen in like a naughty peeping Tom. There are several ways this can go down regarding tropes- including naughty peeping Tom, Unworthy of Our Attention, or Unable to Keep Our Attention. These sessions tend to be punctuated by giggles and laughter, peppered with naughty talk designed to taunt and tempt you. You could be forbidden to speak and then one Mistress could divulge your innermost secrets on the basis of you not objecting when asked. This is a great way to get the sadomasochistic flavor without a huge degree of cruelty or pain.
Domestic Training/Body Doubling/Chores & the Ignore Fetish
So this one is a kinda cool little hack for our neurodivergent peeps who are also little freaky kinksters. Many people who are neurodivergent have variations in their reward centers, and many are dopamine deficit. That translate into a difficulty in maintaining our productivity and accomplishing the things we need to do. Yet… we still have the same type of responsibilities that all people have. /That means that we tend to get a little creative in doing the things that must be done. Body doubling is one such tool- with body doubling you simply insert one other body- can be video, call, in person, to simply bear witness as way to motivate you to do the things that must be done. An ignore call, especially if it is done with a professional Mistress or Master, adds another dimension of pressure to help you accomplish your goal- you are paying to for the time (as you should, right?). It is a service provided, and a damned effective one. In addition to helping people achieve goals and increase efficiency and productivity, this could be a great tool for domestic training, as your mistress oversees, times and critiques your work.
Ignore Fetish Text Sessions
This would involve a text version of an ignore session- either by not responding, delaying responses, or not responding to the content and providing targeted unsatisfactory answers. This could include increasing tasks to keep the submissive partner busy while the other just relaxes. Essentially, you would be able to adapt most of the tropes in here to a text session format, but there is some added anticipation as you sit in front of your screen and wait anxiously for reply. Maybe you see those little gray dots appear on your screen- but no message is forthcoming. You try again- and you see her typing her response to you when once again- no reply comes. Just another layer of excitement when you have no idea if and when the next reply is ever coming.
FINAL THOUGHTS ON THE IGNORE FETISH
We’ve explored how this kink develops, the surrounding psychological benefits, and some scintillating scenarios to consider adding to your own magical bag of kinky ideas. Remember, kink is about exploration, communication, and most importantly, consent. There is plenty opportunity to use our kinky experiences in ways that support our entire life, and if that is something that interests you, I would love to hear from you.
If anything resonates with you, you have experiences to share, or want to explore a private session with me, please reach out by leaving a comment or emailing me at becky@enchantrixempire.com.
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